From Chaos to Calm: 10 Tips for Routines That Really Work
Establishing routines can be a game changer, especially for families navigating the complexities of ADHD. If you’re like most parents raising children with ADHD, you might feel overwhelmed trying to balance work, family, and the unique challenges ADHD brings. Mornings may feel like a whirlwind of forgotten backpacks and missed breakfasts. Evenings might be a battle to get homework done, and bedtime can stretch into an endless negotiations and excuses for just one more thing... These daily struggles can leave you drained and doubting your ability to manage it all.
Routines can help by creating predictability, reducing stress, and giving everyone clear expectations. They won’t solve everything overnight, but they provide a structure that helps you move from chaos to calm. Whether you’re a parent trying to organize your family or someone managing ADHD yourself, these ten practical tips will help you create routines that work for your unique needs.
Start Small Building a routine is like climbing a staircase—you can’t leap to the top in one go. Begin with one key routine, like a morning checklist or a bedtime ritual. By focusing on small, manageable steps, you’ll build consistency and momentum over time.
Involve Everyone A routine will only work if everyone is on board. Get input from your family members when designing routines. When they feel included and their voices are heard, they’re more likely to stick with it. For younger kids, try turning it into a fun creative session working with pictures of the different steps in the routine, or use storytelling to introduce new routines.
Visualize the Routine For many people with ADHD, visual cues are powerful tools. Use charts, whiteboards, or colorful visuals to outline each step of the routine. You can even create a fun poster with drawings or stickers to make it more engaging for kids. Having a visual guide reduces the need to rely solely on memory.
Anchor New Routines to Existing Habits A great way to make a routine stick is to pair a new habit with something you already do consistently. For example, brushing your teeth can signal it’s time to lay out tomorrow’s clothes. Anchoring new habits to old ones creates a natural flow and minimizes resistance.
Use Timers and Alarms Timers and alarms are excellent for keeping everyone on schedule without constant verbal reminders. They act as neutral, non-judgmental prompts that reduce the stress of nagging. Choose friendly tones or even a favorite song to energize and motivate your family.
Celebrate Wins Positive reinforcement goes a long way, especially when establishing new habits. Acknowledge when routines are followed, especially during the first few weeks. A small reward, like extra screen time or a fun family activity, or even simple praise like, “Great job sticking to your schedule today!” can be incredibly motivating.
Be Realistic Overcomplicated routines often lead to frustration and burnout. Design routines that fit your family’s lifestyle, energy levels, and existing commitments. Remember, it’s better to have a simple routine that works than an elaborate one that no one can follow.
Expect and Plan for Flexibility Life happens, and rigid routines can sometimes cause more stress than they solve. Build in flexibility so that if something disrupts the routine (like a late evening or an unexpected event), you can quickly adapt and get back on track without guilt or frustration.
Model the Behavior Actions speak louder than words. When parents follow the routines consistently, kids are more likely to do the same. Show them how it’s done, and don’t be afraid to admit when you slip up—it’s a great opportunity to model resilience and problem-solving.
Reflect and Adjust Routines aren’t set in stone. Regularly assess what’s working and what’s not. Gather feedback from your family and make changes to improve the flow and effectiveness. Small tweaks can make a big difference in how smoothly your routines run.
Building Routines Is a Journey
Remember, building routines is a process, and it’s okay if things don’t click right away. We aren’t looking for perfection, but progress!
Consistency and patience are key. By implementing these tips, you can create a smoother, more harmonious daily rhythm for your family. Over time, these routines can become the foundation for greater stability, independence, and success.
If you’re ready to take the next step and want more personalized guidance on building effective routines, I invite you to join my free 3-Day training. Together, we’ll dive deeper into strategies tailored for ADHD families to help you create lasting change.