The Hidden ADHD Parenting Trap, And How to Get Out of It
Why Mindset Actually Matters More Than You Think
“I’ve tried everything, and nothing works.”
If you’ve ever said this (or thought it), you’re not alone. Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like an endless cycle of trying strategies, facing setbacks, and wondering why things aren’t improving fast enough.
But what if the issue isn’t the strategy but the mindset behind it?
The “Fix-It” Mindset vs. The Growth Mindset
Many parents (understandably) want solutions. ADHD presents challenges, and we want them gone, yesterday. So we try charts, timers, reward systems, new routines, and countless expert tips. But when they don’t work instantly, frustration sets in.
Here’s the trap: ADHD isn’t something you fix. It’s something you support, develop, and adapt to over time.
Instead of a quick-fix approach, success comes from a growth mindset, which means:
✔ Seeing struggles as a skill gap, not a behavior problem.
✔ Expecting slow, incremental progress, not overnight success.
✔ Focusing on learning, not just compliance.
Three Mindset Shifts That Change Everything
From “They Should Know Better” → to “What Skills Do They Still Need to Learn?”
It’s tempting to think, They should know by now that they can’t yell when they’re frustrated! But ADHD affects impulse control, meaning they might understand the rule but struggle to apply it in the moment.
Instead of punishing, coach them through the process: “I see you’re really upset. Let’s take a breath together before we talk about what happened.”From “Why Do I Have to Keep Reminding Them?” → to “How Can I Make This Easier for Their Brain?”
ADHD brains thrive on external support—visuals, reminders, cues. Expecting them to remember independently too soon leads to frustration.
Instead of “I shouldn’t have to remind them,” try, “What system can we use so I don’t have to be the reminder?” (Post-it notes, alarms, checklists, etc.)From “Nothing Works” → to “Progress Looks Different in ADHD”
ADHD development is uneven. One day, they might remember their homework; the next, they forget their backpack entirely. This doesn’t mean they aren’t improving—it means their executive functions are still developing.
Instead of “This isn’t working,” look for small wins: Did they need fewer reminders? Did they recover from frustration faster? That’s growth.
What This Means for You
Parenting an ADHD child is a marathon, not a sprint. When we shift from fixing ADHD to supporting growth, the pressure lifts—and the progress comes.
Does this resonate with you? Drop a comment and share a moment when shifting your mindset changed how you approached a challenge. I’d love to hear your thoughts!