Mothers with guilt

A Personal Story of The Guilt of Parenting a Child with ADHD

I remember the gut-wrenching guilt that followed my divorce, a guilt that clung to me like a shadow. I tormented myself with the idea that somehow, I had caused my child's ADHD. Maybe the stress, the emotional rollercoaster, or my inability to hold everything together had contributed to his struggles. It wasn't until I learned about the genetic nature of ADHD that I was able to release that burden and understand that this was never about something I had done or failed to do.

But the guilt didn’t stop there.

As a high-achieving working mom, I had built my career with determination and ambition. I was used to solving problems, making decisions, and delivering results. But when it came to parenting a child with ADHD, I felt completely out of my depth. No amount of strategic planning could prepare me for the unpredictable chaos that came with my child’s needs. I wasn’t just managing my work, I was constantly on edge, waiting for the next phone call from school about a meltdown, an incident, or another urgent issue that required me to drop everything and run.

Each time I left work unexpectedly, I felt I was letting down my colleagues and clients. Each time I stayed at work and let a call from school go to voicemail, I felt I was failing my child. No matter what choice I made, I felt I was never fully present, neither at work nor at home.

The sleepless nights made it worse. If I wasn’t up late catching up on the work I had missed during the day, I was lying awake, replaying everything that had gone wrong. And when my son couldn’t sleep, because so many ADHD kids struggle with it, I would stay up with him, only to find myself dozing off at my desk the next morning, exhausted and overwhelmed.

The cycle felt endless, and the guilt only deepened.

I see this same struggle in so many mothers of children with ADHD. Women who were once confident and successful in their careers now find themselves questioning everything. Some step back from their professions entirely, feeling they have no other choice. Others try to juggle both, only to find themselves stretched so thin they barely recognize who they’ve become.

But here’s what I wish I had known sooner, it doesn’t have to stay this way.

With the right support, parenting a child with ADHD doesn’t have to mean sacrificing everything. Learning about ADHD and truly understanding what’s happening in your child’s brain can shift the way you see their struggles and help you find better ways to support them.

Setting boundaries, seeking professional guidance, and building a strong support network can make a world of difference. And most importantly, releasing the guilt and recognizing that you are already doing your best can help you reclaim a sense of balance and hope.

I remember the stress of supporting my child through the first three years of school when everything felt so overwhelming. At that time, I never imagined he’d be a successful high school student with a great group of friends and a bright future ahead of him. It was hard back then but now I know that all the work I put in has paid off and was worth it.

Your child’s future is not written in stone. ADHD is not a sentence to struggle, it’s a different way of experiencing the world. And when you have the right tools, the right strategies, and the right mindset, you can create an environment where your child thrives and you do too.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. If you’re struggling with guilt, exhaustion, and the impossible balancing act of parenting a child with ADHD while trying to hold onto your own identity, I can help.

Let’s talk about how you can regain control, find peace, and build a future where both you and your child can thrive.