10 Reasons Why Families with ADHD Struggle During the Holidays (and Simple Solutions to Make Them More Enjoyable)

The holiday season is often seen as a time for joy and connection, but for families navigating ADHD, it can bring unique challenges for both adults and children. From disrupted routines to heightened expectations, the holidays can feel more stressful than festive.

But with a little planning and a lot of compassion, it’s possible to create a more enjoyable holiday experience for everyone.

Here are 10 common struggles families with ADHD face during the holidays and simple solutions to help.

1. Overwhelming Social Commitments

Why it’s challenging: The holiday season often comes with a packed calendar of family dinners, school events, work parties, and community celebrations. For individuals with ADHD—both parents and kids—the constant stimulation and social demands can quickly lead to sensory overload, emotional exhaustion, and burnout.

Solution: Prioritize meaningful events and skip the rest. Schedule quiet time before and after to recharge, and watch for signs of overwhelm, like misbehavior, to intervene early and prevent a meltdown. For adults, set boundaries and communicate your limits with family and friends, it is ok to say no.

2. Disrupted Routines

Why it’s challenging: ADHD thrives on structure, but the holidays often mean late nights, irregular meal times, and changes to daily routines.

Solution: Maintain some semblance of routine where ever possible. Stick to consistent sleep and meal schedules for the family, even on busy days. For children, explain changes in advance and use visual schedules to keep them grounded and help them prepare for transitions and prevent unexpected surprises.

3. Financial Stress and Impulsive Spending

Why it’s challenging: ADHD can make sticking to a budget hard, and the pressure to buy gifts for everyone can spiral into financial strain.

Solution: Create a family budget together and involve kids in brainstorming thoughtful, low-cost gift ideas (like homemade crafts or shared experiences). For adults, use cash or gift cards to stay within limits and avoid impulse buys.

4. Sensory Overload

Why it’s challenging: Bright lights, loud music, crowded spaces, and non-stop activity can overstimulate both kids and adults with ADHD.

Solution: Designate “quiet zones” at home where anyone in the family can take a sensory break and have some time out. Bring noise-canceling headphones or favorite calming items (like fidget toys) to holiday events and don’t be afraid to leave early if things to be too much.

5. Procrastination and Last-Minute Panic

Why it’s challenging: ADHD makes it hard to plan ahead, leaving parents scrambling to buy gifts or prep meals, while kids struggle to manage school holiday projects or activities that were forgotten.

Solution: Break tasks into manageable steps and assign age-appropriate responsibilities. Use family planning sessions with visual checklists or calendars to keep everyone on track.

6. Unrealistic Expectations

Why it’s challenging: The pressure to create a “perfect” holiday can lead to disappointment when things don’t go as planned. Kids may feel frustrated by unmet expectations, and adults can feel like they’re falling short.

Solution: Focus on experiences over perfection. For example, let kids decorate cookies their way or opt for low-key family traditions instead of elaborate plans that create stress for everyone. Consider a family tradition of a pyjama day with movies to have some downtime amidst the holiday stress.

7. Forgetting Important Details

Why it’s challenging: ADHD impacts memory and organization, making it easy to forget everything from key dates to gift lists. Kids may forget their school events, and adults may double-book family obligations.

Solution: Use shared digital calendars for the family, set reminders, and encourage kids to create visual schedules for themselves. Delegate tasks to spread the mental load and assign one family member the role of Social Manager to keep an overview of all the commitments.

8. Family Conflict

Why it’s challenging: Emotional dysregulation, miscommunication, and differing expectations can create tension, especially in families with both neurotypical and neurodiverse members.

Solution: Teach and practice “Stop-Think-Go” techniques: pause when emotions run high (stop), consider options and consequences (think), and choose the least harmful action (go). Use codewords or signals as a family to diffuse conflicts before they escalate.

9. Emotional Dysregulation

Why it’s challenging: The mix of excitement, stress, and exhaustion can trigger mood swings for both kids and adults with ADHD. This can lead to tears, meltdowns, or angry outbursts during what’s supposed to be a joyful time.

Solution: Build in calming activities for the whole family, like reading time going for a walk, or watching a favorite holiday movie. Encourage everyone to identify when they need a break and model self-care as a parent.

10. Difficulty Transitioning Back to Normal

Why it’s challenging: The end of the holiday season can feel like a crash, especially for kids who struggle with transitions and adults juggling responsibilities and gearing up to go back to work.

Solution: Gradually reintroduce routines in the week before school or work starts again. For kids, make the transition fun by using countdowns or rewards for getting back into their routines.

Final Thoughts

For families with ADHD, the holidays don’t have to feel like a whirlwind of chaos and stress. With some thoughtful planning and an emphasis on flexibility and time to relax and unwind, you can create a season that’s both manageable and memorable for everyone.

Remember, the most meaningful moments come from connection, not perfection. Focus on what works for your family, and don’t hesitate to skip the parts of the holiday season that don’t bring you joy.

If the holiday season feels overwhelming and you're struggling to manage through it all, I’m here to help. Book a free introductory call with me, and together we can create a plan to make this time of year less stressful and more enjoyable for you and your family.